cathschaffstump (
cathschaffstump) wrote2007-08-31 11:55 am
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Entry tags:
The Bad Guy
First, the latest word count.
Now, some word on my bad guy: this Labor Day weekend is going to be some serious notes and scenes about Isolde/Enid. Below, the scene that first introduces her, and some pain for Stephan's dad Atreus.
The window blew open. The shutters were what woke him up, the constant thump! thump! as they hit the wall of the study. Atreus’ eyes focused on two windows that merged into one. Shadows shifted eerily against the edges of the walls. Since they’d taken his son, the remaining shadows hovered in the study with him. He’d throw things at them sometimes. They aggravated him.
Now the shutter and the wind aggravated him. The thumping echoed in his head. His mouth tasted like stale whiskey. Fresh whiskey, he decided, would taste better, and he groped among bottles for one that still had something in it. Glass clattered on the floor. Something would clean that up. He was losing track of how long it had been since they’d kidnapped his son. He’d show them, as soon as he shut that damned window.
“You,” the voice that pierced his brain like a needle, “are much more disgusting than I had imagined you would be. I had imagined you would be quite disgusting.”
His head swiveled. The woman looked like a crow in the cloak she wore, standing by the window. On her arm was an owl, brown and wide. Its wings fluttered as she moved closer to the desk, four wings, and then two again. “Get out!” he said.
“No,” she said. “We’re having it out, Atreus Gale. Right now.” Her eyes glittered as she stepped close to the lamplight. “Some magician,” she said. “It was child’s play to get in.”
“Who are you?”
“I am a damned Klarion,” said the woman. “I have come to see my niece, but I understand you killed her.”
Atreus stood up, pain shooting through his body. He needed that drink. “Get out!” he yelled.
“You want your son back,” she said. The woman’s eyes darted about the room. Atreus noted all the shadow creatures had hovered in the corner, an inky black well, as far away from her as they could get. “I think families should be together, don’t you?” She stepped toward him. “Your chances of getting your son back are slim, if you continue to live like this.”
Atreus found himself backing away. The owl’s eyes disturbed him. “What—what do you want?”
“Something you don’t want,” said the woman. “My great niece Eurydice. Damaged goods to you. My friends and I can help you, and you can help us,” she said.
Atreus cringed as she came closer to him. He could use magic, but the owl spread its great wings, and Atreus fell back into his Chair. “Stay away from me!” he yelled.
“Why?” she said. “This is what you’ve wanted all your life, the sort of power I can give you. It’s really quite easy to get,” she said, her voice almost a whisper, “if you let them make the decisions. If you let them take your soul.” Her hand touched him, January in her fingers.
“You,” he said, his eyes wide. “You’re the one that—!”
Her lips brushed his cheeks. “We are going to become very close friends,” she said softly. “Think of me as your road to recovery. But first Osiris has something that he wants of you.”
His body froze as the owl fluttered into his face. He wanted to scramble away. He wanted to scream, but his chest compressed the noise. The owl burrowed its way into his soul, the woman watching and licking her lips.
This weekend I'm going to be rewallpapering some key Isolde/Enid scenes. (I'll probably just refer to her as Enid Stewart after this, as that's how she'll be written. You may never get the whole Isolde surprise. This book may never seen the top of a slush pile...) I'll be taking notes, thinking things through.
I think you gotta do that for your bad guys as well. Make them live. This one has excellent reasons for doing what she's doing. She's mostly unloved and mistunderstood. Yadda, yadda.
Hope you all have a great holiday weekend, and if it's your proclivity, you get some writing done! I probably won't write again until Sunday.
Catherine
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82,729 / 100,000 (82.7%) |
Now, some word on my bad guy: this Labor Day weekend is going to be some serious notes and scenes about Isolde/Enid. Below, the scene that first introduces her, and some pain for Stephan's dad Atreus.
The window blew open. The shutters were what woke him up, the constant thump! thump! as they hit the wall of the study. Atreus’ eyes focused on two windows that merged into one. Shadows shifted eerily against the edges of the walls. Since they’d taken his son, the remaining shadows hovered in the study with him. He’d throw things at them sometimes. They aggravated him.
Now the shutter and the wind aggravated him. The thumping echoed in his head. His mouth tasted like stale whiskey. Fresh whiskey, he decided, would taste better, and he groped among bottles for one that still had something in it. Glass clattered on the floor. Something would clean that up. He was losing track of how long it had been since they’d kidnapped his son. He’d show them, as soon as he shut that damned window.
“You,” the voice that pierced his brain like a needle, “are much more disgusting than I had imagined you would be. I had imagined you would be quite disgusting.”
His head swiveled. The woman looked like a crow in the cloak she wore, standing by the window. On her arm was an owl, brown and wide. Its wings fluttered as she moved closer to the desk, four wings, and then two again. “Get out!” he said.
“No,” she said. “We’re having it out, Atreus Gale. Right now.” Her eyes glittered as she stepped close to the lamplight. “Some magician,” she said. “It was child’s play to get in.”
“Who are you?”
“I am a damned Klarion,” said the woman. “I have come to see my niece, but I understand you killed her.”
Atreus stood up, pain shooting through his body. He needed that drink. “Get out!” he yelled.
“You want your son back,” she said. The woman’s eyes darted about the room. Atreus noted all the shadow creatures had hovered in the corner, an inky black well, as far away from her as they could get. “I think families should be together, don’t you?” She stepped toward him. “Your chances of getting your son back are slim, if you continue to live like this.”
Atreus found himself backing away. The owl’s eyes disturbed him. “What—what do you want?”
“Something you don’t want,” said the woman. “My great niece Eurydice. Damaged goods to you. My friends and I can help you, and you can help us,” she said.
Atreus cringed as she came closer to him. He could use magic, but the owl spread its great wings, and Atreus fell back into his Chair. “Stay away from me!” he yelled.
“Why?” she said. “This is what you’ve wanted all your life, the sort of power I can give you. It’s really quite easy to get,” she said, her voice almost a whisper, “if you let them make the decisions. If you let them take your soul.” Her hand touched him, January in her fingers.
“You,” he said, his eyes wide. “You’re the one that—!”
Her lips brushed his cheeks. “We are going to become very close friends,” she said softly. “Think of me as your road to recovery. But first Osiris has something that he wants of you.”
His body froze as the owl fluttered into his face. He wanted to scramble away. He wanted to scream, but his chest compressed the noise. The owl burrowed its way into his soul, the woman watching and licking her lips.
This weekend I'm going to be rewallpapering some key Isolde/Enid scenes. (I'll probably just refer to her as Enid Stewart after this, as that's how she'll be written. You may never get the whole Isolde surprise. This book may never seen the top of a slush pile...) I'll be taking notes, thinking things through.
I think you gotta do that for your bad guys as well. Make them live. This one has excellent reasons for doing what she's doing. She's mostly unloved and mistunderstood. Yadda, yadda.
Hope you all have a great holiday weekend, and if it's your proclivity, you get some writing done! I probably won't write again until Sunday.
Catherine