Aug. 30th, 2011

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1. Women are not as white as snow. They are as white as ricotta.

2. If you are a woman who does not have children, do not compare yourself or your future child to an animal or an inanimate object. Otherwise, you will probably give birth to said animal or said inanimate object.

3. When invading the home of a wind, giant, or ogre, make sure the lady of the house hides you and the wind, giant or ogre has a good dinner before you come out of your hiding place. You could get eaten otherwise.

4. If an old man shows up to help you with your fortune, it's probably the ghost of the cadaver you buried and no one else would.

5. Very beautiful men need 7 veils to hide their beautiful faces. These guys are usually vain.

6. If you play practical jokes on a man, he will inevitably marry you to get even. A life-saving technique is to bake a replica of yourself out of bread. Fill the heart with cream, so when he stabs you, he'll get squirted with cream and express remorse. After that, the marriage is gonna be great.

7. If you are the youngest child in a family, rest assured, you are also the smartest and the most beautiful. Your fortune is assured.

8. There is more royalty in Italy than there are peasants.

9. Never trust the Lame Devil. Especially if you're another devil.

10. Whatever the dwarf tells you to put on the deck of your ship, you do it. You will inevitably run across an island of creatures who need what you have in abundance (ie you load your deck with carrion, you meet an island of vultures.)

***

Hope these tips are helpful to you in your Italian travels!

Catherine

Mirrored from Writer Tamago.

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