Killing Myself Softly

The day job has been stressful recently. No two ways about it. Last week was one of the toughest weeks we've had in a long time. The registration style of our students and the policy our college has to cancel classes are in great discord. We cope, but this fall will break all records of previous falls, and we would have more students if we had room for them. I understand that the college cannot be psychic about enrollment, but I also think that the college is unwise to adapt the one size fits all approach that we are adopting. I have spent a great deal of the last three weeks being querulous, mostly to my immediate superior, who generally runs interference with the college regarding administrative policies, but was towing the party line this time (for a variety of good reasons.) However, my job is to stand up for the students and teachers who serve us as best I can, as fairly as I can. Having the protection of a union enables me to be outspoken about these issues, which is a luxury my boss does not have. Not that I ever wanted to be dean of the English department, but I suspect I have now officially created a glass ceiling for myself. I am not a team player, nor am I a realistic budgeter. I would rather lose money and serve more students. Idealism at 48? Pretty much yes. I understand concerns about money. I feel, however, that with these numbers, we *can* support these students.

I just need to get them to come in earlier. A project, somehow, for next year.

***

It has been stressful, and my weight and my constant need to sleep show it. I am worried about the interaction between my new thyroid meds and the other meds I take, as well as what I eat, but Dr. Banks and I will sit down to converse about that on Wednesday. However, after dropping three pounds by virtue of eating sanely this weekend, I'm pretty sure my weight gain is *not* due to new meds. Stress tends to make me want to eat. I have been exercising religiously, so I don't die of a heart attack, so perhaps that has kept matters from being even worse. This means my knee acts up more, but only in the limping stage, not the brace stage.

You might remember that I had thought about becoming just a teacher again a couple of years ago, after a botched attempt at getting a full-time administration position made out of the job I do. That...didn't work out, and I have struck a compromise between my writing time and my teaching time. There are, however, these times of intense stress and trouble shooting, and I feel my life force being sucked out of my fingertips as I type and type and type...I know that there will be more take home work as a full time teacher, so you know, it's a trade off. What I need is a solid meditative technique to wind myself down when the going gets tough. But often, during the year, after things have settled down, my job is pleasant, so I am only killing myself softly at the ends and beginnings of semesters.

Health concerns can always change plans. How is your blood pressure? Your digestive systems? These are things that I will be watching as I age and as this intense work continues.

So, now, gotta do some more stuff. Make some phone calls, check in with a class, teach some students some lab material. All in a day's work. Plus the unexpected.

Next: an awesome interview with Will Alexander. You will see.

Mirrored from Writer Tamago.