Deep Deep Read Begins and Snippet!
Dec. 3rd, 2007 09:30 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
cathschaffstumpGetting the real loosy goosy stuff out of the carpet now, and making it sleek.
Here's a snippet from the prologue, which we edited through page 7 tonight (which is a slight miracle this week, I have to tell you!)
Erasmus Klarion wiped the back of his hand across his forehead, brushing away the sweat from the blistering sun. The temperature fell rapidly as the sky purpled. His bruised and scraped hands ached after the long climb up the rock wall. He regretted having to leave his pack animal, but he hadn’t found the camel yet that could scale the wadi. The land below dimmed as the darkness of the horizon smothered the torch of the sun, long shadows falling from the rocks. No riders. He was well ahead of the others.
The remains of a great temple lay splintered in front of him, jagged pillars and boulders strewn across the sand as though the gods had been playing marbles. A damp parchment stuck to his skin. He took it out from his robe and carefully unfurled it. Barely legible, its runes had sweated into a smear. However, he knew what they meant. Other magicians also knew, and that troubled him.
Clutching the map, Erasmus scrambled toward the remains of the temple, his sandals filling with pebbles and dust. The rubble gave way to a rough stone floor, polished marble in spots where the sand had played craftsman. His stomach tightened at the thought that he was somehow too late. The night wind made him shiver. He uselessly pulled the sweaty robes around him, shivering more. In the fading light, Erasmus could barely read some of the symbols left on the remains.
Erasmus entered the temple passage between two pillars. His head scraped the dusty stone ceiling. The stale air choked him as he moved further underground. He tied a stained scarf around his nose and mouth and breathed shallowly. As he moved downwards, Erasmus could only make out vague shadows. He stuffed the map into a small sack draped over his hip and fumbled for a torch. The light was weak, but it was enough.
Erasmus coughed as the torch smoked and died. His coughing echoed against stonewalls. He would have preferred a subtler announcement of his presence, but what was done was done. Slowly he inched his way in total darkness.
He willed his senses to grope in the dark ahead of him, as if he could pitch them down the tunnel. His eyes were dull, but the rest of him was not. Smoke permeated the passage. He could smell something else, alive, perspiring, and unwashed, a combination of brimstone and sweat. His eyes registered the faint red glow even before he realized what it was. The tunnel broadened suddenly and the stone no longer pressed him.
The guardian of the scroll awaited visitors, exactly as the scattered pieces of information had revealed he would. Easily the size of a giant, the creature’s skin glowed like lava would have in Vesuvius. Its face was mostly human, squashed flat, with round cheekbones and fiery eyes. Pointed ears dangled gold hoops that gleamed in smoldering heat. A black ponytail in the middle of its head dangled in the style of an Egyptian prince. The creature, square and muscular, folded broad arms across its massive chest and gazed down on the magician.
Erasmus drew a breath and straightened, throwing back his shoulders, trying not to look like he’d been hurling himself madly through the desert for what seemed to be an age. “You are the guardian,” Erasmus said. Immediately he felt like a fool for saying it. Of course, the creature would know exactly what it was.
“Go home,” said the guardian. “Go home. There is nothing for you here.”
“I can’t,” said Erasmus.
“You must,” said the guardian. “My instructions are clear. You must not cross me. You do not look as though you would survive an encounter with me.”
Well! It's certainly better paced, and more lean. Now, to do this with another 408 pages or so. :) Yup, JUST like writing the thesis. ;P
Catherine
Here's a snippet from the prologue, which we edited through page 7 tonight (which is a slight miracle this week, I have to tell you!)
Erasmus Klarion wiped the back of his hand across his forehead, brushing away the sweat from the blistering sun. The temperature fell rapidly as the sky purpled. His bruised and scraped hands ached after the long climb up the rock wall. He regretted having to leave his pack animal, but he hadn’t found the camel yet that could scale the wadi. The land below dimmed as the darkness of the horizon smothered the torch of the sun, long shadows falling from the rocks. No riders. He was well ahead of the others.
The remains of a great temple lay splintered in front of him, jagged pillars and boulders strewn across the sand as though the gods had been playing marbles. A damp parchment stuck to his skin. He took it out from his robe and carefully unfurled it. Barely legible, its runes had sweated into a smear. However, he knew what they meant. Other magicians also knew, and that troubled him.
Clutching the map, Erasmus scrambled toward the remains of the temple, his sandals filling with pebbles and dust. The rubble gave way to a rough stone floor, polished marble in spots where the sand had played craftsman. His stomach tightened at the thought that he was somehow too late. The night wind made him shiver. He uselessly pulled the sweaty robes around him, shivering more. In the fading light, Erasmus could barely read some of the symbols left on the remains.
Erasmus entered the temple passage between two pillars. His head scraped the dusty stone ceiling. The stale air choked him as he moved further underground. He tied a stained scarf around his nose and mouth and breathed shallowly. As he moved downwards, Erasmus could only make out vague shadows. He stuffed the map into a small sack draped over his hip and fumbled for a torch. The light was weak, but it was enough.
Erasmus coughed as the torch smoked and died. His coughing echoed against stonewalls. He would have preferred a subtler announcement of his presence, but what was done was done. Slowly he inched his way in total darkness.
He willed his senses to grope in the dark ahead of him, as if he could pitch them down the tunnel. His eyes were dull, but the rest of him was not. Smoke permeated the passage. He could smell something else, alive, perspiring, and unwashed, a combination of brimstone and sweat. His eyes registered the faint red glow even before he realized what it was. The tunnel broadened suddenly and the stone no longer pressed him.
The guardian of the scroll awaited visitors, exactly as the scattered pieces of information had revealed he would. Easily the size of a giant, the creature’s skin glowed like lava would have in Vesuvius. Its face was mostly human, squashed flat, with round cheekbones and fiery eyes. Pointed ears dangled gold hoops that gleamed in smoldering heat. A black ponytail in the middle of its head dangled in the style of an Egyptian prince. The creature, square and muscular, folded broad arms across its massive chest and gazed down on the magician.
Erasmus drew a breath and straightened, throwing back his shoulders, trying not to look like he’d been hurling himself madly through the desert for what seemed to be an age. “You are the guardian,” Erasmus said. Immediately he felt like a fool for saying it. Of course, the creature would know exactly what it was.
“Go home,” said the guardian. “Go home. There is nothing for you here.”
“I can’t,” said Erasmus.
“You must,” said the guardian. “My instructions are clear. You must not cross me. You do not look as though you would survive an encounter with me.”
Well! It's certainly better paced, and more lean. Now, to do this with another 408 pages or so. :) Yup, JUST like writing the thesis. ;P
Catherine