Rock, Island, Etc

[cathschaffstump]

A couple of Thanksgivings back, the husband and I had a surprise falling out. We had a point of disagreement that was a serious moment in the history of our amiable marriage. You see, his parents wanted us to go to church with them. His aging father wanted to share his family with his friends, and of course, Bryon is very close to his parents. This all sounds quite lovely and innocent, and it would be...

Except his parents go to a church where the pastor passed around a petition against gay marriage. Bryon's mother and father are quick to tell you that they didn't sign that petition, but they go to this church. They also didn't stand up and say anything against the petition either.

Well, the long and short of that is that I wouldn't go to the service, and Bryon did. And we fought about it, until we agreed that we wouldn't talk about it again. He loved his parents. I loved my convictions. I define myself by beliefs. He also defines himself by family, and is willing to compromise his beliefs for that. Neither of us will ever be comfortable with how the other one feels about that, but it is now a place we don't go in our discussions.

I don't know if this is a good thing or a bad thing. It is a thing. It makes me uncomfortable, and sometimes it makes me cry. I'm sure it does the same for him.

And given that we don't go into this territory very often, I won't be talking to him about my current feelings either.

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