In Moments of Tiredness…

[cathschaffstump]

All writers have their moments of insecurity.

I mentioned that I keep this journal to keep me honest. Life this week has been all about the institution, and very little about me and my work. I feel like I'm procrastinating. Finally, tonight! I see some time to write.

I miss the activity of my inbox. When I was submitting the completed work to agents, there was a buzz of correspondence. Now there are minor skirmishes of occasional activity, but for the most part, I feel disconnected from the world of the business of writing.

So, I must remind myself from my own list.

11. The industry is not the measure of your success. Attention is not the measure of your success. Of course you want to send your work out, make smart marketing decisions, and try to share. The measure of your success is stories written and sent. You can't convince the world it wants your work, but you certainly can't do anything at all unless you're telling stories.

12. Realize that success in writing, like success in anything, is really more about persistance than anything else. Write, learn to market selectively and well, and then market selectively and well. There will be a learning curve. You will battle obscurity. You will make mistakes and get rejections. BUT eventually you'll have enough circulating and people will know who you are, and you'll learn the tricks, and your writing will line up with someone's taste, and more and more things will be accepted.

In the past year, I've circulated Substance of Shadows, and its possibilities are still alive. I've complete Hulk Hercules: Professional Wrestler, which Cats Curious likes, and which will be published. Drollerie Press still has plans to publish Sister Night, Sister Moon. I have two short stories out for consideration. I have a complete read and a partial read out. I've contributed to two charitable collections. One story has been published in the Drops of Crimson ezine. I'm 16K into my new project, and well underway on applying for a workshop.

I am counting my blessings here. I wonder why, even with all that, it takes such a short time for me to devolve into someone who thinks they have made no headway at all? Ah, such are the mysteries of the writerverse.

So, tonight, it'll either be a rough draft of my VP cover letter, or some serious work on my novel's outline. I mean it. I won't get my mailbox jumping again thinking about the beginning of the semester. Need some creative *me* time.

I'm very curious about all of you. Does this feeling of doubt ever go away? Or does it morph usually into a different, subtle, sinister form?

Bah. January.

Catherine

<input ... > <input ... >

Originally published at Writer Tamago. You can comment here or there.

Comments

[jimhines.livejournal.com]

Hasn't gone away yet. Part of it, I think, comes from the fact that I'm always comparing myself to other writers on some level. And for some reason, my brain only makes comparisons to writers who are doing better than I am.

"Yay for my first week's numbers, but look at that person over there who sold even more and made the bestseller lists! Maybe I'm just not good enough for that...."

Writers are nuts, and I think it can be very easy to focus on how far there is to go as opposed to seeing how far we've come. At least it is for me.

[cathschaffstump.livejournal.com]

But dude, you were a big idea on Scalzi's site. My friend Mark delighted in pointing that out to me last night. That's a whole upper level of originality.

You're on your way.

I know. It doesn't make it work out in your head. Keep trying, though.

Catherine

[jimhines.livejournal.com]

Nah. That just means I bribed Scalzi with a copy of his latest book printed on bacon :-)

[tltrent.livejournal.com]

What Jim said. We are indeed nuts. We can let us make it more nuts or accept it, shrug, and get back to typing. (Which I'll admit I'm not all that successful at doing yet). ;)

[cathschaffstump.livejournal.com]

accept it, shrug, and get back to typing.

I'm thinking that's a good blue print to try for.

Catherine

[uzu-uzu.livejournal.com]

Maybe it was something in the air this morning. I was hit hard with a huge case of the, "What am I thinking!? My grammar is terrible, my stories have probably already been done and I can't finish a damned thing!"

Then it was 10am and I had to jump online to do my daily hour with my writing buddy and it slipped out of my mind. (for now! dun-dun-dun!)

Also this reading group thing has made my year, full stop. Thank you ^_^

[cathschaffstump.livejournal.com]

You are so welcome about the whole reading group thing.

It's hard to stay confident that you have something to say. They tell me even the big names have trouble with that!

Catherine

[ecmyers.livejournal.com]

Hey, thanks for this. I've been wrestling with my own dissatisfaction and worries at the moment, and it's good to remind yourself of what you're doing right :)

BTW, I meant to mention another writing workshop if you hadn't heard of it before, Taos Toolbox (http://www.taostoolbox.com/), but I can't tell if they're going to have one this year. It's a bit expensive, but my friends have reported a good experience.

[cathschaffstump.livejournal.com]

It's difficult, grappling with dissatisfaction.

You were kind enough to mention Taos to me before. I didn't see that they were having it this year either. It looks like a nice workshop, very inspiring.

Catherine

[erised1810.livejournal.com]

aaand yo uforgot blod is thicker tha nwater. which i'm enjoyign very much by the way.

[cathschaffstump.livejournal.com]

You are right!

I'm glad you're enjoying it!

Catherine